I can write calmly about it.

But at the moment, financial stress has me depressed, withdrawn, desperate, and at my wits' end. I truly do not know what to do in the next eleven days to get the money I need for this month's bills, let alone next months. I'd offer writing commissions again, but even if multiple people took me up on it it might not be enough, and the stress has hit the point where it's cramping my ability to think and react creatively. It's a mess.

I'm applying for jobs -- well over a dozen, in a variety of fields and levels of pay and experience. But I won't get a paycheck in time even if I get one of them. I would, at this point, set pride aside and ask someone for a loan, but I don't think I know anyone with the money to spare, and I've no idea how long it would take me to pay them back.

I do not know what to do.

Expect blogging to be erratic until I do.