matt_doyle: (Default)
It was going to be four posts, but I'm debating the wisdom of posting general speculations about weddings and their attendant drama.

Anyway, that makes this probably the shortest and most boring of my wedding posts, and they seem to have been pretty boring in any case, :-P. 

The morning after the wedding, we were saying our goodbyes to the happy couple right before heading out, when a friend of ours named Kaiser drove up to the corner and exclaimed "what the Hell?"

Kaiser, it should be noted, lives several hundred miles away, as do Megan and I, and as do Peter and Kayse.  He had not been at the wedding.  So we were all surprised to find ourselves at the same streetcorner.  That was a surreal coincidence enough, but as we each discussed what we were doing in Duluth and why, Kaiser happened to ask where the wedding had been.  When we told him, his reaction was  "That was you guys?!"

The wedding took place outdoors, in a public park.  He had, for the entirety of the ceremony, been hanging out just up the hill, within sight of the proceedings but too far away to identify the participants.  Peter and Kayse were overjoyed to learn that they had an (unknowing) wedding crasher, and I left bemused by the deep and inexplicable weirdness of the universe.

matt_doyle: (Default)
As a co-best-man, I of course gave a toast at the reception, written, as tradition demands, at very nearly the last minute, and balancing sweetness with embarrassment.  In the interests of immortalizing it, here it is, as scripted if not quite as extemporized:

Peter and Kayse, you two have been the very best of friends for years now, both of you, and I hope that if Peter had best maids and Kayse had men of honor that Megan and I might still be up here.  I'm very grateful for both of your friendship... but I think we all know that even the very best of friends can make one another go crazy sometimes.

And that's actually how I know that the two of you are meant for each other.  Megan and I and the two of you have been through a lot of very stressful times together, and all of us have sometimes forgotten  to behave in calm and rational ways, and driven the others up a wall.  But when that happens... the two of you have always been one another's staunchest defenders.  If anyone has said an unkind word when Kayse  has forgotten her phone, or gotten lost driving somewhere she's been a dozen times before; or when Peter has been cranky and short-tempered or stubbornly demanding... these are all just random examples, you understand, I'm not suggesting any of them ever actually happened... you always leap to one another's defense, even when I know it's driving you just as crazy as it's driving me.

You're kind and understanding about each other's little lapses, and that is so terribly important to a healthy marriage that I can't stress it enough.

((Catcall from the audience:  "Sounds like you're speaking from experience there!!"))

Hang on to that.  Keep forgiving one another's faults, and always defend them just the same way even if there isn't someone -- like, say, me -- around to make sarcastic remarks about it.  

I know you've got the love, and the teamwork, and the perseverance to make this work.  I absolutely know you have the support of friends and family.  So keep being each other's champions, against the rest of the world, and even against yourselves -- and you've got it made.  Bless you both.

matt_doyle: (Default)
Many drastically entertaining things happened over the course of the weekend, but there's one in particular that I think I'll be riffing on for quite some time.

My friends' wedding reception was held at Duluth's Norway Hall, local HQ for the Sons of Norway.  There were a few little logistical problems resulting from the fact that the building was being renovated for the first time in 27 years -- because the next event being held there will be a visit from the actual-factual King of Norway, and they want to fancy the place up a bit.

The biggest problem stemming from the renovations, however, was the fact that only one of the restrooms was open to the public.  The ladies' room was out of service until after the King's visit, because the King required them to completely renovate and refurbish it. 

You see, the King of Norway refuses to use a bathroom that any other human being has previously used.  It's not enough that it be thoroughly cleaned, oh no.  The old bathroom must be torn out, and one intended only for his personal usage installed.  Where another man has pooped, the King of Norway will not go.

As I am no fan of monarchy, if the renovations had been complete, I might have sneaked in to perform a secret revolutionary act of protest. Alas, this was not to be.

During the course of the reception, though, I did get a chance to briefly sit in the throne they have in the main hall.  Like the rest of the building, it is three decades old.  As far as I know, there are no plans to replace it, because His Majesty made no special demands about normal thrones.  Only porcelain ones.  As a chair with thirty-year old cushions and padding, it is drastically uncomfortable, and he may ell spend hours sitting in it.

Readers, I laughed.  And I am laughing still.


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January 2014



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