matt_doyle | Entries tagged with cooking

For archival purposes, a recipe I have yet to try but really want to.

Neko's Chai Cookies

Ingredients:
1 cup butter
1 cup liquid chai mix. (I used vanilla chai)
1 1/3 cup sugar
2 eggs
3 1/2 cup flour
1 tbsp baking powder
2 tsp salt

Directions:
1) Whisk flour, baking powder and salt in one bowl and set aside.
2) In a separate bowl, cream butter on med-hi until fluffy, then add sugar, chai, and mix.
3) Stir in flour mixture until dough forms.
4) Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour (I froze it. The butter tends to make it melt rather quickly if not cold enough.)
5) Roll into 1" balls and place on ungreased cookie sheet. Keep them spread far apart, as they will spread quite far.
6) bake 10-12 min at 400 degrees F

Optional instructions:
Before placing on cookie sheet, roll balls in powdered sugar

Remove from cookie sheet as soon as they can be moved and place in a sealable container while still warm. This will keep them soft and cakey

optional: cinnamon and vanilla

Two slices honey wheat bread.
Mayo.
Small amounts balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
Six slices hard salami.
One slice colby jack cheese.
One roma tomato, divided into six slices.
Garlic powder, sea salt, and ground peppercorn.

One homemade vanilla caramel latte.

Nom.

Here's a recipe for "grownup chili" (i.e., chili with more than just meat, beans, and tomato sauce) that I recently shared with a friend. I could swear I posted another chili recipe on my journal sometime in the last two or three months, but if so, I cannot find it.
( Megan, don't read this unless you want to discover my secret ingredients )

Put three 1/2 Tbsp pats of butter in a small skillet, along with 1/2 tsp of worcestershire sauce. Turn pan up to high,

Take i narrow slice of onion, and lay it on top of your tripod of melting butter. break 1 egg neatly over the top of the onion.

Meanwhile, start toasting 2 slices oatbread.

Swear and dodge as the liquid trapped under your onion slice when its tripod melted away begins spitting at you like an angry magma llama.

Flip the damned thing two or three times. Pry off the char in one corner. Begin feeling dubious about this plan.

Remove from heat. Lay a thick slice of mozzarella cheese over the top of it. Worry that if this egg tastes horrible, you have just wasted delicious cheese.

Check fridge for likely suspects. Remove roast beef, sour cream, and horseradish.

Spread sour cream (not much!) and horseradish (even less!) over your oatbread toast. Slap 2 slices fresh Italian roast beef on the bread.

Look questioningly at egg, onion, and cheese.

Add to sandwich.

Be amazed at how ludicrously delicious this is.

Share recipe with internet.

1 & 1/4 c white flour
1 c oatmeal oats
3 tbsp white sugar
1/2 tbsp baking soda
1/2 tbsp baking powder
8 tbsp cold butter
1/4 c. sour cream
3/4 c. milk
1/2 c. raspberry jam
1/2 c. orange marmalade

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F
Blend flour, oats, sugar, baking soda, and baking powder in a large bowl.
Cut in the butter, either with a pair of butter knives, or using a fork, until the mixture is coarse and crumbly.
Gradually add sour cream and milk.
Mix until it is a doughy consistency.
Add jam and marmalade, mixing thoroughly.
Put parchment paper on a large baking sheet. Pour out dough and pat into a large circle 3/4" thick.
Score dough wheel to make 8 wedge shapes.
Bake 15 minutes. Remove and score deeper.
Return to oven for 10 more minutes, rotating the pan.

The resulting scone-kin will have a moist, almost cake-like inner consistency, and taste best having been toasted, and spread with more jam and/or marmalade and dolloped with whipped cream.

They're called Rainbow Sconekin because they're golden brown on the outside and blueberry purple inside -- and yet, after a few hours, turn green on the inside. I do not understand this. However, spread with raspberry jam and orange marmalade, they are EXTREMELY colorful.

Some pictures:( 4 giant images )

So last night I mastered the art of making pastys (pasties?), because the dough wouldn't roll out right for pie crust and I wanted pot pies, dammit. I used this recipe for a butter and shortening crust, with only two changes: the proportions of butter and shortening are reversed, and I subbed in a tablespoon of white vinegar for the first tablespoon of water. It was a delicious, almost shortbread sort of crust, though as noted it was too sticky and prone to tearing to roll out into a pie pan.

Instead, I divided each of the disks of dough in two, rolled them a bit thicker, and prodded and pinched them into bowl shapes. I then added my pot pie filling into two of the bowls, inverted the other two over the top of 'em, and pinched the dough shut to form a seal. For some reason pinching the dough was deeply deeply satisfying. Remembering (at the last minute) to poke holes in the top with a fork, I then stuck 'em in the oven, preheated to 350, for one hour, and they came out gorgeous and delicious. A little dry and crumbly, but putting some gravy in with the filling next time ought to help.

For my filling, I took:

2/3rds of a pound of ground beef
1/4th of a white onion, minced fine
1/2 a bulb of garlic, minced fine
1/4th tsp Old Bay
1/2 tsp seasoned salt
1 tsp rubbed sage
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp dill
1/2 tsp marjoram

and fried them up on medium high in butter and worcestershire sauce (with just a little vegetable oil added when they started sticking to the pan). After the meat was browned well and the onion was soft and translucent, I turned it down to simmer and added

1 12-oz package microwaved sweet corn in butter sauce (already cooked),
something like 1/3rd of a cup of spinach
something like 1/4th of a cup of shredded mild cheddar cheese

And simmered the mix for five to ten minutes.

IMPORTANT NOTE: er, this was actually too much filling -- I could have filled three pasties instead of two. But I am too lazy to reduce this recipe by one third, so you'll have to do it.

Likewise, there should really be some sort of gravy or sauce in this as well, but, I was lazy.

In any case: the end product turned out beautifully.

( Three large pictures )

I'm in the process of devising a recipe, and it's a far more whimsical process than usual. The other day, I saw a picture of a bunch of clockwork, and someone had commented beneath it that, at first glance, they'd thought the tangle was a dish of steampunk pasta.

I thought this was a brilliant idea. So I decided to invent it. The dish is called 'Incubo del Meccanico,' or "The Mechanic's Nightmare," and involves, first of all, some assortment of the following noodles: Fiori, Fusilli, Gemelli, Lanterne, Radiatori, Rotelle, and Rotini. The more the better, because the wider the variety of noodles, the more it looks like a complex clockwork and spring device exploded on the plate. To achieve a "gilded" effect for the assorted pasta widgets, I was thinking of boiling them all along with a large dose of turmeric, which turns everything some variety of yellow-orange.

For the sauce, I was thinking either a beef bouillon base, or a steak sauce base -- the better to achieve a brown 'motor oil' effect to contribute to the theme -- but I hadn't settled on anything in particular. I also hadn't yet given thought to whether this would simply be noodles and sauce, or if it would be served with meat or vegetables or anything else added in -- which is where, oh my fiends-list, you come in. Any suggestions for this recipe?

Apparently making oatmeal with coffee instead of water is less brilliant than I suspected.

1 cup white flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup oatmeal
1 tsp cinnamon
1/3 cup brown sugar (dark)
1/3 cup white sugar
2 Tbsp confectioner's sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
1/4 cup melted shortening
1/4 cup milk
1 tbsp lemon juice
roughly 1/2 cup raspberry jam (or other fruit filling)

Mix the milk and lemon juice to sour the milk. Set aside until needed. In a large bowl combine the flour, baking soda, salt, oats, cinnamon and sugars. Add the melted butter and shortening, mixing thoroughly until the dough is mostly little granulated lumps. Gradually add in the sour milk, mixing constantly, until the dough is a single semi-solid lump.

Chill the dough for 1/2 hour in the fridge. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. grease a cookie sheet.

Roll the dough out to about a quarter-inch thickness. Using a cup or round cookie cutter about 3" across, cut into an even number of circles. I got ten before I ran out of dough. On your greased cookie sheet, lay out half the circles -- preferably the thicker ones, if they're not quite even. Leave a lot of space between them, and keep them away from the edges of the pan -- these suckers get huge when baked.

Place a large spoonful of jam in the center of each circle of dough on the pan. If you want, you can create a thumbprint depression to hold it in better, but seriously, pile that jam on there. Most of it bakes into the dough, and you want enough for there to be some filling, too. Finally, take the other half of the circles, and press them down atop the others, making sure to seal in the jam rather than spilling it out the sides. Press the edges of the circles together.

Bake at 350 degrees for fifteen minutes, and devour the resulting monstrosities while warm.

½ pork tenderloin (about 3/4ths of a pound)

3 slices ham

8 oz can of tomato sauce

2 tbsp balsamic vinegar

2 tbsp Worcestershire

2 tbsp olive oil

1 tbsp water

1 tsp black pepper

3 tbsp ground rosemary

2 tbsp oregano

Preheat oven to 450 F.

Wrap pork tenderloin in ham and place in a 9 x5 loaf pan or similar.

Mix liquid ingredients.

Pour over pork.

Sprinkle spices over.

Cover with foil.

Bake in oven at 450 degrees for 40 minutes.

minus the cheese and garlic, because I'm out. Substituting with:

2 Tbsp thyme
2 Tbsp dill
1 Tbsp onion powder
2 tsp Old bay
1 tsp sage

We'll see how this works. It's still in the oven. Smells good, though!

Important tip, though: if the dough seems too dry, DON'T add more water. Just keep working it around until the dryer parts are well mixed in with the rest. I added just a splash more water and it dramatically changed the consistency of much of the dough.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees, and liberally spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray.

Mix:

2 cups white flour
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. seasoned salt

Cut in 6 Tbsp of shortening or butter (I advise shortening), until the shortening is in tiny pieces.

Add 1+ Tbsp. garlic powder (how much do you want? Add that much. At a guess i used 1.5 Tbsp; but I didn't measure. i just used it all).

Dice or shred 4 thick deli slices mild cheddar cheese into tiny tiny pieces. Add the cheese to the biscuit mix and stir. IF you want a cheesy crust on top of the biscuits, only mix in about 3/4ths the cheese, hold the rest back to top with at the end.

Gradually, add 3/4ths cup milk or water (I advise milk, but I only had water today) to the mixture, stirring it all in slowly until the dough is one big sticky ball. Make sure to lift the edges as you stir and pour a little water onto the underside, or tehre will be a bunch of loose dry stuff there.

Separate the resulting ball of stick dough into about a dozen smaller balls of sticky dough, and place them on the cookie sheet. be sure to leave space between them, and flatten their tops just a little by pressing down. (now would be the time to add the extra cheese if you left iot out earlier, or brush the biscuits with shortening or butter, or maybe add some fresh diced garlic to the top, or all three. I did none of the three. Oh well.)

Bake for 12-15 minutes (I advise the full 15).

Serve hot with warm butter to spread on them.

OM NOM NOM NOM I AM A GENIUS

Steak marinade:

4 Tbsp A1
4 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp Smoky Horseradish
2 Tbsp Cucumber Ranch Dressing

2 tsp each Garlic Powder & Onion Powder
1 tsp each Old Bay, Sweet Paprika, Ground Mustard, Dill
1/2 tsp ginger

All measurements are very approximate.

Thoughts?

So, I promised you a recipe back on Friday (providing that it worked) and it mostly did. It was a little sour, or bitter, or... something... didn't ruin the dish by any stretch, it was still quite tasty. Just flawed. I think it may have been too mush balsamic vinegar that did it, but if anyone can venture a culinary opinion I would appreciate it.

Since Friday, my cooking has been pretty focused on using egg and breadcrumbs to batter ALL THE THINGS, which has been delicious but less interesting from a recipe standpoint. Unless you guys don;t bread things, in which case, let me know and I will share my secrets.

Anyway. The stew.

Procure a slow-cooker. Remember to plug it in (I forget this all the time). Add:

8 oz. chicken, chopped into whatever size pieces you like your meat in.

8 oz. white mushrooms, quartered -- you don't want them to dissolve but to be big flavor sponges.

2 lbs. potatoes, cubed. You could use fewer potatoes unless, like me, you have too many and need to use them before they grow a civilization in your lower cupboards.

Half an onion, sliced not diced.

This should come treacherously close to filling your slow cooker, providing yours is the same size as mine, which I recommend.

Melt 1/8th of a cup of butter. Add 1/8th of a cup balsamic vinegar to it. Put these in a one-cup liquid measuring cup, tehn fill the rest of the cup with water. Into this mixture, add:

3/4ths Tbsp Old Bay
1 tsp seasoned salt
2.5 Tbsp. chicken boullion

Mix, then pour into the slow-cooker over evferything. The reason you mix the seasonings first is because otherwise, they'll all just float at the top. An alternate and more intelligent method of doing this is to prepare your broth first, THEN add the meat and veg, but I relate these recipes to you exactly as i made 'em.

In another 3.5 cups of water, mix and add:

1.5 Tbsp ground sage
.5 Tbsp. ground thyme (you can use more if you do not run out of thyme at this point. That was not a pun.)
.5 Tbsp. white pepper
.5 Tbsp sweet paprika (Kayse never gave you back your hot paprika or you would add just a dash of it)
1 Tbsp. basil
1 Tbsp. dill
.5 tbsp. celery salt

Once all the seasonings and liquid have been added, your potatoes and meat and such should just barely be covered by the liquid. Put a lid on the slow cooker, and leave it on high for six hours.

The resulting product will actually turn out to be soup rather than stew, unless you add a thickening agent or mash some of the potatoes into the broth, but regardless, it will taste pretty damn good.

Matt's Own Famous I-Ran-Out-Of-Barbecue-Sauce-Partway-Through-My-Recipe Barbecue Sauce

1/4^th cup famous dave's sweet & tangy barbecue sauce

1/4^th cup supreme garlic A1 steak sauce

2 8-oz. cans tomato sauce

4 tbsp. water

4 tbsp red wine vinegar

4 tbsp olive oil

3/4ths cup brown sugar

2 tbsp. Fresh ground mustard

1 & 1/2 Tbsp hot paprika

1 tsp white pepper

1 tsp fresh ground sage

1 tbsp fresh ground marjoram

1 tsp fresh ground basil

1 tsp Old Bay

1 tsp fresh ground thyme

Well, it tasted properly delicious before I turned on the slow cooker with the country-style ribs smothered in the stuff. We'll see how well it holds up this evening.

Recipe for Mushroom Spaghetti: I thiiink if you replace the butter with margarine, the recipe that follows is vegetarian or even vegan-compatible. Depends. Is tehre actual beef in most bouillon?

In a large skillet, mix:

1/4 c chopped baby spinach
14 pearl onions, quartered
1/2 bulb garlic, finely diced
1 box mushrooms
1/2 tsp seasoned salt
1/2 tsp Old Bay seasoning
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp marjoram
1 1/2 tsp basil
1/4 tsp white pepper
1/2 tsp rubbed sage
1 tsp cilantro
3 tbsp olive oil, virgin
3 tbsp melted butter
3 tbsp cooking sherry
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp beef bouillon

Heat on medium until mushrooms are brown and onions are softening. Add

16 oz tomato sauce
4 oz water

Reduce on medium-high to high heat for 10 minutes or until desired thickness.
Serve over angel hair or spaghetti (angel hair should take about 10 minutes to cook if you start heating the water right when you add the tomato sauce).

Enjoy.

Thaw 1 lb. boneless pork ribs. Marinate for 5 hours in a 9" square pan, along with:

1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup cooking sherry
3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
3 tsp lime juice
3 Tbsp sweet paprika
1/2 tsp ginger
2 tbsp marjoram (powdered or ground with mortar and pestle)
1 1/2 tsp Old Bay
1/2 tsp Mrs Dash original
enough water to submerge the ribs in the marinade (or, if you'd rather, add more olive oil and sherry in equal measures.

Cover 9" pan in tinfoil. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Bake for one hour.

Devour.

Or, a recipe for chicken.

You are hosting a group dinner. Realize the night beforehand that you do not have enough chicken, and walk to the grocery store at midnight to buy another 3-lb. bag of chicken breasts. Thaw both that bag and the one you have at home on the counter overnight.

In the morning, look up how long it takes to bake chicken. The internet claims 20 minutes with the oven at 400 degrees. Plan your cooking schedule accordingly.

Make a marinade for your chicken. It's a lot of chicken, so it will take a lot of marinade.

1 & 3/4 cups water
1 tablespoon chicken boullion
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce. Maybe 2 tablespoons.
1/2 to 1 tablespoon lemon juice (you're out of lime juice. damn!!!)
1.5 tablespoons seasoned salt.
1/2 tablespoon old bay.
1 to 1.5 tablespoons smoky horseradish, added furtively without measuring because you have to hide it from Megan, who does not like horseradish under most circumstances.

Marinate for 6 hours.

Take 1 bulb of garlic and divide into cloves. Take 1 white onion and slice it into large chunks so your brother Thomas can pick them out.

Preheat the oven. People need to roast potatoes in it for 40 minutes, so you have some time.

In a deep, 9" by 13" baking pan, arrange all that chicken, and scatter the onion and garlic over it. pour about a quarter of the marinade over the top too. Have Megan cover it in tinfoil, since you are really bad at doing that without wasting asstons of tinfoil, and put it in the oven to bake.

20 minutes later, the potatoes are done.

The chicken is still pink and raw.

Curse the lying internets.

Serve the rest of dinner early rather than letting it get cold. Then, 15-20 minutes later, have the chicken as a second course. Cheerfully taunt one of your guests about his fears of salmonella. Sorry, Tim.

Discover that the chicken is juicy and delicious, and weirdest of all, it tastes precisely the way you imagined and intended it to. You are a good cook, but nothing ever comes out exactly how you want it, even if it does all come out delicious.

Devour.

(They contain multitudes).

Mix together:

1 lb. ground beef
1/2 white onion, finely minced
4 cloves garlic, finely minced
6 strips bacon, finely minced
1 egg, beaten
2 Tbsp. breadcrumbs
1 Tbsp. parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp. ketchup
1 Tbsp. A-1 steak sauce
2 tsp. smoky horseradish
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

Divide into 4-6 patties. Fry on medium high skillet in olive oil and worcestershire sauce until done to your satisfaction. Best served on whole wheat buns with colby jack cheese, baby spinach, fresh-sliced roma tomato, ketchup, and bacon ranch dressing.