I have a hangover vaccine.
Everyone knows there's no surefire hangover cure -- hair of the dog, prairie oyster, coffee, whatever; everyone's mileage seems to vary on that one. But I have yet to find anyone who doesn't benefit greatly from one simple trick.
For every drink you have -- beer, glass of wine, shot, mixed drink, whatever -- drink at least eight to twelve ounces of water before you take another drink. Yes, you'll have to pee more often -- but let's be honest, if you're getting drunk enough for it to matter, you're going to spend half the evening peeing anyway. Whatever. If you haven't tried this before, you
will not believe how much better it makes you feel the next morning. It's the difference between crippling headache, nausea, and light sensitivity... and a headache that a single ibuprofin or a two-hour wait can cure. Every time I forget this trick, I regret it. Every time my friends blow me off and refuse to do it, I feel a mix of pity and smug superiority.
***
With that said, one more tip, especially for people who like maintaining a long period of heavy inebriation but who don't want to pass out, vomit, forget what happened, or make a complete ass of themselves. This trick also doesn't work for people who greatly and indiscriminately enjoy beer, but if you've got a slight distaste for beer, like me, the Beer Barometer Method is key to an epic weekend bender without bile, amnesia, or unconsciousness.
As you drink harder liquors, get yourself a tall glass of
baaaaad beer. Even if you think all beer is bad, go that extra mile. My own un-preference is Miller High Life (the champagne of beers), but from what I understand, Grain Belt is probably another good choice. It's very simple. After you have had your drink (and your water, jackass), take a sip of the beer. Does it still taste bad? If so, you're good to go. When the taste of the beer stops bothering you, or even begins to taste good,
STOP DRINKING BOOZE. Wait a while. Drink your goddamned water, okay? It shouldn't take too long, Half an hour, maybe an hour. You won't sober up in the meantime unless you like beer more than you've been letting on. After that interval has passed, sip the beer again. When it tastes bad, you're good for one more drink -- that should keep you at a "maintenance level" of functional drunkenness. You'll be relaxed, uninhibited, and loud, but you'll know what's happening, you won't black out, and you won't need to puke.
So. There you have it. Following this method, I went on a thirty-six hour bender, did not suffer alcohol poisoning, and was good to go the next day. And I'm a lightweight; everybody says so (mostly
handgun ).
Happy Drinking Holiday!