Travelogue: The Airport Bro Edition.
Jul. 3rd, 2012 11:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matt_doyleSo I was privileged to witness a unique discussion while I was sitting in the Minneapolis airport at the Subway there, and it is my wish now to share it with you. A gentleman came into the restaurant and got into line, and at first I thought nothing of him. He was tall, muscular, and tanned; he had a crew cut and wore a polo shirt with broad mauve and narrow indigo stripes, and he was holding an open cellphone upon which he had just placed a call.
When he spoke, it was with a Brooklyn accent. What he said was as follows:
"Hey, man, I fucked up the tickets. You gotta buy me a new one. I'm stuck. In Minnesota."
There was a pause as the other person answered. From the look of consternation on the bro's face, his friend was expressing some dubiousness about his imperative as a ticket purchaser.
"Hey, what are best friends for?"
Another pause.
(Forcefully) "Nah man, I ain't sleepin' on the street. I ain't homeless!"
He then placed his friend on hold so that he could order himself a sandwich. Afterward, the conversation continued, but apart from the fact that he was flying out to Denver (while half of Colorado was on fire), and inferences that this friend was not the person he was going to see in Denver and was not a family member, I could not capture the nuance of the discussion.
However, I should think that if I were in a similar plight and had somehow purchased the wrong ticket, failed to check my flight, and wound up short on cash in a strange airport, I would perhaps have done three things differently.
A) Asked politely if my friend could help me.
B) Waited to have this discussion before entering the line to buy my sandwich. After all, if I don't have a flight out of this airport yet, it's hardly necessary to rush.
C) I would most likely have begun the conversation by saying "Hello."
When he spoke, it was with a Brooklyn accent. What he said was as follows:
"Hey, man, I fucked up the tickets. You gotta buy me a new one. I'm stuck. In Minnesota."
There was a pause as the other person answered. From the look of consternation on the bro's face, his friend was expressing some dubiousness about his imperative as a ticket purchaser.
"Hey, what are best friends for?"
Another pause.
(Forcefully) "Nah man, I ain't sleepin' on the street. I ain't homeless!"
He then placed his friend on hold so that he could order himself a sandwich. Afterward, the conversation continued, but apart from the fact that he was flying out to Denver (while half of Colorado was on fire), and inferences that this friend was not the person he was going to see in Denver and was not a family member, I could not capture the nuance of the discussion.
However, I should think that if I were in a similar plight and had somehow purchased the wrong ticket, failed to check my flight, and wound up short on cash in a strange airport, I would perhaps have done three things differently.
A) Asked politely if my friend could help me.
B) Waited to have this discussion before entering the line to buy my sandwich. After all, if I don't have a flight out of this airport yet, it's hardly necessary to rush.
C) I would most likely have begun the conversation by saying "Hello."
