Jumblesong.

[matt_doyle]

I want to feel transcendance like the wind
lean into my fate and feel it bend
I want to know something I cannot see
hear it dismissed as fallacy
and smile and know I've had it right all along

I want to sink above and rise below
disoriented vertigo
A mixed-up kid with mixed-up memories
And something of a taste for self defeat
I want to close my eyes and hear this song

I want to hear a whisper in the dark
to take this disaffection, make it mine
and revel in my discontent this time
and to feel I bear that awful mark
and roam alone out in the rain
I want to do it all again.

Comments

[sincelastjuly.livejournal.com]

A mixed-up kid with mixed-up memories
And something of a taste for self defeat
I want to close my eyes and hear this song

♥.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

*bows humbly*

[skyfading.livejournal.com]

so much that

[skyfading.livejournal.com]

off to work now,

[mattador.livejournal.com]

I am glad you like.

[skyfading.livejournal.com]

you had to tell me in two comments?

[mattador.livejournal.com]

I hit the post button too soon by accident.

[skyfading.livejournal.com]

i'll call you later.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

Yay!

[prettyveela.livejournal.com]

You and me baby ain't nutting but mammmals so let's do it like we do it on the Discovery channel, woooooooooooooo!!!!

I like your lyrics btw

[mattador.livejournal.com]

I ask for attention, I get attention; I cannot complain. Anyway, I love the bloodhound gang.

Thanks.

Oops! Repost

[prettyveela.livejournal.com]

GO MATT GO!!!

Re: Oops! Repost

[mattador.livejournal.com]

*highly amused*

[sansagenda.livejournal.com]

You've got good verbs--I especially lke "lean into my fate and feel it bend." Something I've been doing a lot in my poetry and would recommend--try yanking out grammar-type words and see what you're left with. For example, nix a couple of "ands," "thats," and "tos" and just leave commas. Sometimes, the lines are stronger for it. Not that you're rocking a lot of 'em here, but still, tis fun. I like them muchly.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

Muchas gracias, especially for the concrit.

("Lean into your fate," was actually a line of dialogue in a book I once read, so I cannot take credit for it.)

[sansagenda.livejournal.com]

Using the word "lean" in any abstract was is so cool, 'cause it's all physical...there was a girl in my poetry class last semester who said something like, "the lines of that tree leaning against the August daylight" (but far far better) and it was just orgasmic. <3

I don't think I said it before, but big <333 on the lyrics, as they're lovely.

[mattador.livejournal.com]

Hee thanks!

Damn. that is a sexy line.